You Need to Join a Critique Group

Want to be a published writer? Then you need to join a critique group. Running my articles, devotionals, and book chapters past my San Gabriel Valley Inklings writers critique group has made the difference between getting published and not getting published. I rarely submit a manuscript before it's received its members kind but tough review.

Take my most recent article: Lost in Cyberspace. It was my first attempt to write humor. I wrote it after struggling with the directions on a web site. My critique group liked the body of the manuscript, but were displeased with the hook. (That's how you reel in your readers with the first sentence or two.)

Here's my original hook:

"It doesn't seem like the impossible dream for me, a senior citizen freelance writer, to join the world of cyberspace marketing. But I'm beginning to feel like my marketing plans will be lost in cyberspace forever."

What's wrong with that hook? First of all, it mentions facts that aren't pertinent to the article, such as I'm a senior citizen freelance writing trying to learn how to market myself online. My group was unanimous with a decision to ditch those first two sentences and start over. They asked me, "Who is your target audience? Who will want to read this humorous article?"

I knew who that was. "People like me who have been befuddled by the complicated directions that must to followed before in order to "join" a website."

Here's the hook I used when I submitted the article to Associated Content yesterday:

"Ever felt lost in cyberspace? I've been in that situation more than once. I'm sure that every failure I've experienced when trying to follow directions on the internet was my computer's fault. After all, I'm writing this article about being lost in cyberspace, so I'm not brain dead, am I?"

Was it a good enough hook for Associated Content? I'll keep you posted.